Sadness

For the past few mornings I have gotten to work and all I can think about is that I won't have anymore kids in Siegel High after this year. I think about Phatty and John not being there anymore, no football games to go to...things like that just race thru my head and the tears just come. I am not going to be on this earth too much longer, I have less time on earth left than I have been here. I just feel so immensely sad. I can't believe my Dad is gone, AJ is gone. Just a few weeks ago they were alive. I know I should be glad neither one is hurting anymore but it just seems as if they were this blip in timeline and everything has moved on. I feel so stupid sitting here crying about them. Crying about feeling sad. I miss Papa and Memaw, grandma watson, next will be my mom. I am not sure why I am even crying other than I just feel so sad. I miss HS football and regret that I didn't get more involved. Swirling thoughts and emotions are not good but I have them.